Mr. Donovans liposuction shop

2003-01-24T21:05:00.000-08:00

when they said they were working on it...i believe them. of course i did, why wouldn't i?
i checked back about a week later, i found an average dame...well maybe not so average, you see....she said something about a monkey. yes, a monkey.
a deceitful monkey at that....
this caught my attention. i used to be affiliated with such a monkey...clever little thing, drove an ice cream truck.
the dame doesnt have much to do with it, all i know is that the monkey owes me money and a latte.

2003-01-24T21:02:00.000-08:00

and so i typed in a word, a password...it didn't work. i knew it was wrong but i tried it twice anyway. i knew what the correct password was.
why didn't i type it? why, you ask.

let me tell of something
something new, yes. yes it comes deep from the bowels of Dr. Pisani's home land.
i can't tell you what it is. because there isnt really anything new, he's a crusty old bastard with a weird eye twitch problem.

2002-03-07T19:52:00.000-08:00

isnt it sad when you go to laugh at some funny man, but he turns into a fetus and floats away.
sometimes i sit and ponder about that little funny man fetus. who is he? why is he here? what happened to him as an adult.

why on earth am i still pondering about that fetus?
paper, no, screen.
Beware the Fetus.

2002-02-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

Also known as the Smiling Tree Frog or Dumpy Tree Frog due to the nature of its appearance, this frog is a very hardy creature and a favorite pet of amateur frog owners, although some pet owners complain that they are not active enough. These frogs love to eat, which can make them quite fat, hence their "dumpy" appearance. Unlike many frogs, these frogs do well with other frogs of their species and are fairly friendly. They like a warm and moderately humid habitat and eat larger insects like crickets, cockroaches, locusts, moths and beetles.

What kind of Frog are you?

this is definately what i want to be reincarnated as...

2002-02-22T19:10:00.000-08:00

well thats a load of bull fodder.

2002-02-22T19:02:00.000-08:00

Which Internal Organ are you? Find out at willaston's lounge!

oh shit yes, my life is complete.

2002-02-22T18:59:00.000-08:00

Take the Corporate Mascot Test at Willaston's Lounge!

hell ****ing yes!

2002-02-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Click here to take
the quiz!

i am a true badass. i just wish they showed me with my armor on....*grumble grumble*

2002-02-22T18:36:00.000-08:00

Which British Band Are You?

i heard these guys suck actually. hahahaha

2002-02-22T18:23:00.000-08:00

freakin damn right i'm a hobbit. i'm just...unusually tall....thats all.

2002-02-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

What day are you?

ok thats cool. except that i'm not a chick like the picture. i'm not a chick at all.

2002-02-22T18:04:00.000-08:00

Which Chess Piece Are You?

is there anything further from the truth?

2002-02-22T17:57:00.000-08:00

*Take This Test!*

i like em. you best like em too.

2002-02-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

I'm Logan
What X-Men Character are You?

hell yes. feel my manly power.

2002-02-02T15:31:00.000-08:00

Take the Which Beatle Are You? Quiz.

2002-02-02T15:14:00.000-08:00

2002-02-02T15:13:00.000-08:00

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

2002-01-25T18:54:00.000-08:00

so this kid is going on and on in a forum about how misinformed americans are. because of our filtered news.

so i said to him, "fine, maybe we dont get pure news, but for the sake of argument, name your sources and prove they're 100% accurate."

so he said, "yadda yadda, fuckin old books that arent accurate"
at that point i reached through the screen and punched his fish bowl. just to show the fish who was boss. whats my point?

2002-01-25T18:47:00.000-08:00

JiveBassist: i'm freakin tweeked
JiveBassist: i dont know
JiveBassist: nothing's even going on
aLittleStarlight: maybe youre pmsing
aLittleStarlight: HAHAHA
aLittleStarlight: maybe not
JiveBassist: yeah i developed ovaries and all that jazz
aLittleStarlight: lahahah
aLittleStarlight: i knew it
JiveBassist: doctor says it's some kind of mutation
JiveBassist: walt disney willed everything he owned to the first man to give birth
JiveBassist: hey hey, looks like mickey's ass is mine
aLittleStarlight: hahhahahhaahhaha
aLittleStarlight: aklsdhgagkalds

2002-01-25T18:44:00.000-08:00

Yeah so shit happens eh?

Haven't talked to Brit in a few days, that really really sucks. She ain't gonna be back around 'till like, monday.

I've been tweeking my schedule all f*cking week trying to get things set up right. (just decided not to capitalize anymore), i'm in a music class by myself (which i suppose ain't half bad), i got myself back into algebra 2, i got back into phsyical science, i got into health and in doing so sacraficed my phys. ed. class, i'm in a study hall with an up tight asshole of a teacher, and i'm bitching and moaning.

besides all that, i'm doing fine.

tomorrow my family is heading off to a wedding, i've gotta go to my cousin's house. nothin wrong with that, he's a cool dude. weddings tend to be boring anyway, i'm more relieved than annoyed at not being invited. sour grapes eh?

yeah, shit i'm out of jive to write...

2002-01-18T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, i have returned!
.
it's time once again to sweep the floor and have a rousing good time! say hi to my fat kitty!
.
.
I found myself thinking today, as i often do think. i was thinking about, my hand...more specifically why it was asleep. I had just woke up, it was seventh period, my eyes were blurry...my hand was numb. my head had been resting on it, cutting off the circulation no doubt....or...
it was an intricut plan produced from the inner bowels of the FDA. They knew i had vital information pertaining to their prized milk cow...my cat...
they must have abducted me and numbed my hand. this way they could........do...something else, that didn't pertain to my hand...
.
.
CROP CIRCLE TIME!!!!!
.
.
/--|--\
U - U
H - H
-------
.
"LOOK DOCTOR, IT MUST BE THE LIKENESS OF THEIR LEADER!!!"

2002-01-17T17:05:00.000-08:00

Fail not to notice my wonderful kitty! LOOK at my kitty. LLLLOOOOOOOOOOK.

The kitty loves you. The kitty is fat.

Zeke they call him in the grotto,
fat and unshaply, playing the lotto,
finding time to count his hairs,
stuck inside his knitted chairs.

Stinky Zeke of second street
has some words to say now
so lean close in, and listen
about his widower cow.

He said to me,
listen now,
to my tale,
my tale of cow,
it was a night of great distress
what happened next is my best guess.

my cow ate much and ate some more
as he stood on the woolen rug
and then he screamed and shouted
about some hole he dug
he said it was wide apart and deep
in the middle of his field
and there he buried all his woes
and constructed, and congealed.

there he built his barn
and then of course his well
but his wife ran off somewhere
because she couldnt stand the smell.

so now the cow is fat,
and now the cow is clean,
that cow is my cat,
if you know what i mean.

2002-01-17T16:53:00.000-08:00

It has been reported that there is a certain "Miss. Libbworthy" running amok. She's native to Peru. She has a preference to warm places, tropical. She's a softie for a man in uniform. She's 326 LBS. of fun and love!

Lets go get us some Libbworthy!!!!

2002-01-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

Ah, welcome to my new blog. Notice the fat kitty...why is he here you ask?
Then I ask you!!! What kind of liposuction shop doesn't have a fat kitty!?!!!???

Don't ask me silly questions.